letting go

So my most immediate letting go is of the puppies.  It is only Omar and Callie now - Trigger was never one of the pack - though I have tried to care for him in a peripheral sort of way.  But the agreement I have made is that as of the 24th of October, when I leave for Dubai, I let go of trying to keep them here.  They are now five months old and Omar, while not full grown yet, is a good-sized,` sturdy dog - Callie is smaller but also strong and healthy and as of today, well fed.  They will have to find a way to survive without my help - though they have the advantage of having had rabies shots - they have the disadvantage of not knowing how to scavenge very well as I have fed them twice a day for the past several months - ever since the Mamadog was killed.  I still hate the guy at the Embassy who arranged that - I curse his name.

And also letting go of hurt feelings - two people who I thought I was friends with seem to be distant - though I do know that both of them are way busy with work and such.  I keep relearning to not take it personally when people are caught up with their own life stuff and their work.  My workload is quite light compared to most people at the Embassy, and that is fine with me.  Alas, it also allows me more time to brood but what the hell.  I also have time to play with the puppies, work on my very beginning of tai chi and watch silly tv shows.

The puppies have taught me a lot - they are so random - one moment frolicking the next minute growling and fighting - then chasing each other - then jumping on me and biting my jeans - then sniffing at an old turd - all the wonders of the universe unfold.  And then sometimes they just want to sleep...it has been a long time since I have been around dogs on a daily basis, and I certainly see the attraction.  But for now, this time of being the fostermom is sufficient.  I like going away and not having to arrange dogfeeders etc.  I like the freedom of not having them in my room, and I don't want to have one unless I had a yard.  But even then, they require so much love and attention - and while I have plenty to spare now - I am hopeful that when I am in Surabaya, I will be much busier and able to be out and about.

And I keep having to let go of the various moods and mild discomforts that I have thanks to hormonal changes.  Sigh.  Oh well, as I am going to Dubai, I will be able to go to drug stores and maybe get some treatments that can help mitigate these irritating little symptoms.

Last but not least, I get to keep letting of Mr. X.  We have had brief chats - one yesterday, one today.  The progress for me is that I don't always want to get back with him - I still do sometimes but I realize we are not at all compatible in many many ways.  And he has taken up with someone else - not at all as attractive as I like to think I am, but younger by far.  Sigh.  Still, after all our sturm und drang (which wasn't all that bad considering), I still like him and wish him well.  And I have to remind myself of a couple other friends in my life who were also lovers first and I had to let go and move on...and how glad I am that they are still in my life.

Tired of this and that...

I must confess I am tres fatigue of all the election nonsense.  I work in an office with a few people of very opposite political beliefs and whilst I enjoy a nice discussion, sometimes it just wears me out.  I have also spent too much time in Yemen without a break - so am very much looking forward to going to Dubai next week for Eid, even if the awaited 1 million Saudis arrive.  I will be renting the harley I had before and riding around town in my spiffy leather vest and little cutoff gloves.  

Here at Dog Heaven, the puppies are trying to chase off some new big dogs, but I think it is play on the part of the new ones.  My puppies are trying to be fierce - but they are still young.  I don't know if they will still be here when I get back from Dubai...but at least now if they are taken away, they are healthy and large enough to have a fighting chance of surviving.  It has been an interesting experience being the doggy foster mom for the past several months - but I don't think I'm going to quit my day job and become a farmer or kennel owner or anything like that.

So instead, I, along with several others here in Sanaa, am somewhat obsessed with Homeland.  It isn't too surprising as we are in a place that has many interested eyes and agencies focused on it.  We supposedly have AQAP types wandering around the country despite the many that have been killed by drones.  So there is a certain feeling of realism even though it is a fictional tv show and, as you probably know, based on an Israeli show.  And it also plays to the supposed rivalries of the different folks who deal with such things...sorry have to be vague about all this stuff.

The big fun of the day was going to Sana'a's newest store which, sadly, reminds me of a Yemeni version of Walmart.  Big and clean and new - but sort of sterile.  However, one of my friends really liked it - whereas I pine for Lucas - which is small, clean and somewhat expensive as it has many imported items.  Oh well - at this point it is rare that we are allowed to go anywhere so can't really complain about where we do get to go.

The sun is setting already and the calls to prayer are in the background...another day done already.  Still haven't worked on my arabic yet today.  

This isn't a very inspired blog but I was thinking that if I got used to writing more, maybe the writing will improve.  

Strange week and more random thoughts

So my latest rug has finally found a home - on the bed.  I used my other little rug as a bedspread whatever when I lived in Afghanistan, but had sort of forgotten I could do that here.  It required a little moving around of pillow and such, but it is a nice rug and not itchy at all - so I am quite happy to sit on it.  I spent too much time here in my little room, but its okay.  I use room service for almost all my meals - I don't really have any desire to sit in the tent (a dining area) and wait for 45 minutes to get my food.  I prefer to be here in my own little cave and just wait 30 minutes for food.

The rug is made in Pakistan and has a lovely blue in the center.  I waited for over a year before I finally allowed myself to buy it - and in that time, the price came down quite a bit which was good.  I like accumulating rugs - most of the ones I get are fairly small as I never know where I'm going to live and how much space I'll actually have.  I have heard that when I'm in Surabaya, I'll live in a goodsized two bedroom apartment.  At this point, I don't have much furniture, but I do have rugs and some objets d'art...I was told by an experienced Foreign Service person that you might as well accumulate rugs and art - everything else is provided for you.

The week didn't start out well - our weekend is Thursday and Friday here in Yemen.  On Thursday morning, our senior investigator was killed in front of his 20 year old son as he went to the grocery store.  So there is now the concern not only about how to keep the American employees here safe and sound - now we have to think what can we do to help keep our local staff safe also.  Jobs at the Embassy are generally pretty good and because unemployment is so high here - I doubt that a lot of them will quit even if they are concerned that they or their family may be at risk due to their working for the US Embassy.

Friday was a little calmer, and then Saturday was hard because I saw so many of the people at the Embassy who had worked with Qassem for many years (he had worked there 11 years).  Then today Sunday, was yet another Revolution Day so I had the day off.

The nice thing about today was being at the pool and then Elleginette brought her daughter, Jade, to the pool.  Jade is maybe 6 or 7 - not sure.  She loves to swim and so she and I played in the water quite a lot.  She seemed to enjoy how I could go under her and then pop up on the other side.  Trigger came and hung out a bit - but I think he realized that the pool isn't really the place for him.  He resists going to the pen which I don't blame him - it really isn't his place.  And no one is offering to step up and help take care of Omar and Callie (the remaining puppies) - so I have a feeling that when I'm in Dubai, they may be taken away.

But, there is no use being upset with people - we all have our own paths and the puppies at least are big enough now that even if they are dumped outside the city, there is a good chance they will be able to survive.

And just saw a commercial for True Blood - I think after 6 seasons of Buffy, and the periodic watching of Angel - I have had more than enough demons and vampires.  I think instead I shall opt for sleep.  Maybe if I write here more often, I'll be a little more concentrated but oh well - blips and blobs...