Leaving soon and end of year

And here it is, New Years eve in Sana'a, watching the Simpsons and pondering whether or not I am going to go to the NYE black and white party.  As of this minute, not really sure.  there actually are some good things on TV, even if I have seen them before.

I am leaving Yemen in a week and two days.  I have another week to pack up my UAB (which will be sent to me in California) and then live out of suitcases for a week or two.  It is still warm and sunny during the day here in Sanaa, but it looks like Capitola is rather chilly nowadays.

So what am I feeling and thinking these last days?  While I am happy to be leaving, I am also sad that I didn't get a chance to really live here.  Instead, I have lived in this warped universe of armoured vans, our little village, and our very confined existence.  While I am not really that close to anyone here, I do have some friends (or at least the beginning of friendships, now about to be put on hold).  There are a few people I really don't like, but for the most part, people are okay. Sometimes I wish I had been more outgoing, but for the most part, I've been fine with being somewhat of a recluse.  My social time is during the day when I work in my crowded little office.  Eveningtime is my time for online socializing, studying Arabic, sleeping, etc.

Mainly it just feels like time has passed rather slowly.  Even this last week is dawdling.  I know that my life can be more fun, I just had a really nice visit to Dubai and the time went quite quickly. But here, in my little cocoon, time goes slowly.  So I will go to the party for a while, maybe dance a little, and then come back and sleep some more.

letting go

So my most immediate letting go is of the puppies.  It is only Omar and Callie now - Trigger was never one of the pack - though I have tried to care for him in a peripheral sort of way.  But the agreement I have made is that as of the 24th of October, when I leave for Dubai, I let go of trying to keep them here.  They are now five months old and Omar, while not full grown yet, is a good-sized,` sturdy dog - Callie is smaller but also strong and healthy and as of today, well fed.  They will have to find a way to survive without my help - though they have the advantage of having had rabies shots - they have the disadvantage of not knowing how to scavenge very well as I have fed them twice a day for the past several months - ever since the Mamadog was killed.  I still hate the guy at the Embassy who arranged that - I curse his name.

And also letting go of hurt feelings - two people who I thought I was friends with seem to be distant - though I do know that both of them are way busy with work and such.  I keep relearning to not take it personally when people are caught up with their own life stuff and their work.  My workload is quite light compared to most people at the Embassy, and that is fine with me.  Alas, it also allows me more time to brood but what the hell.  I also have time to play with the puppies, work on my very beginning of tai chi and watch silly tv shows.

The puppies have taught me a lot - they are so random - one moment frolicking the next minute growling and fighting - then chasing each other - then jumping on me and biting my jeans - then sniffing at an old turd - all the wonders of the universe unfold.  And then sometimes they just want to sleep...it has been a long time since I have been around dogs on a daily basis, and I certainly see the attraction.  But for now, this time of being the fostermom is sufficient.  I like going away and not having to arrange dogfeeders etc.  I like the freedom of not having them in my room, and I don't want to have one unless I had a yard.  But even then, they require so much love and attention - and while I have plenty to spare now - I am hopeful that when I am in Surabaya, I will be much busier and able to be out and about.

And I keep having to let go of the various moods and mild discomforts that I have thanks to hormonal changes.  Sigh.  Oh well, as I am going to Dubai, I will be able to go to drug stores and maybe get some treatments that can help mitigate these irritating little symptoms.

Last but not least, I get to keep letting of Mr. X.  We have had brief chats - one yesterday, one today.  The progress for me is that I don't always want to get back with him - I still do sometimes but I realize we are not at all compatible in many many ways.  And he has taken up with someone else - not at all as attractive as I like to think I am, but younger by far.  Sigh.  Still, after all our sturm und drang (which wasn't all that bad considering), I still like him and wish him well.  And I have to remind myself of a couple other friends in my life who were also lovers first and I had to let go and move on...and how glad I am that they are still in my life.

Tired of this and that...

I must confess I am tres fatigue of all the election nonsense.  I work in an office with a few people of very opposite political beliefs and whilst I enjoy a nice discussion, sometimes it just wears me out.  I have also spent too much time in Yemen without a break - so am very much looking forward to going to Dubai next week for Eid, even if the awaited 1 million Saudis arrive.  I will be renting the harley I had before and riding around town in my spiffy leather vest and little cutoff gloves.  

Here at Dog Heaven, the puppies are trying to chase off some new big dogs, but I think it is play on the part of the new ones.  My puppies are trying to be fierce - but they are still young.  I don't know if they will still be here when I get back from Dubai...but at least now if they are taken away, they are healthy and large enough to have a fighting chance of surviving.  It has been an interesting experience being the doggy foster mom for the past several months - but I don't think I'm going to quit my day job and become a farmer or kennel owner or anything like that.

So instead, I, along with several others here in Sanaa, am somewhat obsessed with Homeland.  It isn't too surprising as we are in a place that has many interested eyes and agencies focused on it.  We supposedly have AQAP types wandering around the country despite the many that have been killed by drones.  So there is a certain feeling of realism even though it is a fictional tv show and, as you probably know, based on an Israeli show.  And it also plays to the supposed rivalries of the different folks who deal with such things...sorry have to be vague about all this stuff.

The big fun of the day was going to Sana'a's newest store which, sadly, reminds me of a Yemeni version of Walmart.  Big and clean and new - but sort of sterile.  However, one of my friends really liked it - whereas I pine for Lucas - which is small, clean and somewhat expensive as it has many imported items.  Oh well - at this point it is rare that we are allowed to go anywhere so can't really complain about where we do get to go.

The sun is setting already and the calls to prayer are in the background...another day done already.  Still haven't worked on my arabic yet today.  

This isn't a very inspired blog but I was thinking that if I got used to writing more, maybe the writing will improve.  

Strange week and more random thoughts

So my latest rug has finally found a home - on the bed.  I used my other little rug as a bedspread whatever when I lived in Afghanistan, but had sort of forgotten I could do that here.  It required a little moving around of pillow and such, but it is a nice rug and not itchy at all - so I am quite happy to sit on it.  I spent too much time here in my little room, but its okay.  I use room service for almost all my meals - I don't really have any desire to sit in the tent (a dining area) and wait for 45 minutes to get my food.  I prefer to be here in my own little cave and just wait 30 minutes for food.

The rug is made in Pakistan and has a lovely blue in the center.  I waited for over a year before I finally allowed myself to buy it - and in that time, the price came down quite a bit which was good.  I like accumulating rugs - most of the ones I get are fairly small as I never know where I'm going to live and how much space I'll actually have.  I have heard that when I'm in Surabaya, I'll live in a goodsized two bedroom apartment.  At this point, I don't have much furniture, but I do have rugs and some objets d'art...I was told by an experienced Foreign Service person that you might as well accumulate rugs and art - everything else is provided for you.

The week didn't start out well - our weekend is Thursday and Friday here in Yemen.  On Thursday morning, our senior investigator was killed in front of his 20 year old son as he went to the grocery store.  So there is now the concern not only about how to keep the American employees here safe and sound - now we have to think what can we do to help keep our local staff safe also.  Jobs at the Embassy are generally pretty good and because unemployment is so high here - I doubt that a lot of them will quit even if they are concerned that they or their family may be at risk due to their working for the US Embassy.

Friday was a little calmer, and then Saturday was hard because I saw so many of the people at the Embassy who had worked with Qassem for many years (he had worked there 11 years).  Then today Sunday, was yet another Revolution Day so I had the day off.

The nice thing about today was being at the pool and then Elleginette brought her daughter, Jade, to the pool.  Jade is maybe 6 or 7 - not sure.  She loves to swim and so she and I played in the water quite a lot.  She seemed to enjoy how I could go under her and then pop up on the other side.  Trigger came and hung out a bit - but I think he realized that the pool isn't really the place for him.  He resists going to the pen which I don't blame him - it really isn't his place.  And no one is offering to step up and help take care of Omar and Callie (the remaining puppies) - so I have a feeling that when I'm in Dubai, they may be taken away.

But, there is no use being upset with people - we all have our own paths and the puppies at least are big enough now that even if they are dumped outside the city, there is a good chance they will be able to survive.

And just saw a commercial for True Blood - I think after 6 seasons of Buffy, and the periodic watching of Angel - I have had more than enough demons and vampires.  I think instead I shall opt for sleep.  Maybe if I write here more often, I'll be a little more concentrated but oh well - blips and blobs...

Sana'a encore

Back in Sana'a and at the Sheraton with a really nasty cold. I've been in my room for 24 hours now - just one brief excursion to the coffee shop for breakfast. They brought me a nice mix of mint tea and black tea - so I had some along with the fruit salad. I think I'll have some soup later and that should do it for me. Don't want to gain back the weight due to boredom/sickness eating.

It is good to have a tv when sick - I can have some noise in the background without having to think too much.

The shooting and death in Sana'a continues - I made the mistake of watching a video posted by Greg Johnson and now have images of brain on the street...this one guy's head was blown apart, and his brain appears to have fallen out - rather disturbing and not good to realize that this is happening just a few miles away from here.

I want the killing to stop - I want it to be as it was a few days ago - I don't know when it will be that way again - the last two weekends I was able to get out and about a bit - this weekend we are all shut down and reasonably so. But I don't like it at all - regardless of my wanting to go away for a long weekend in Dubai in two weeks - I just don't like Sana'a streets turned red due to fighting between the 1AD and the RG.

And I don't like this cold in my head.

Kabul again

More roses this time - the grass is green and lush and as I walk to the FSU, it is raining - not heavy but distinct and noticeable rain coming down and getting my wonderful but aging purse wet. I make it to FSU and login and get my danger pay letter and forward it to Sana'a and of course Theresa is there, she is always there, and she tells me there is not sufficient arrival specificity - I sent her comments to Jamie and Tabia and then later go talk to Tabia...this silly thing.

Then, I knew he would be here, I see Mike and he is on the phone with his wife and I yell and he turns and comes and finishes his conversation with her and then talks to me a little - and tells me he will see me later - he knows I am at Virginia house - he is upstairs from me on the third floor. Such a tease in a way but what the hell - i'm quite certain Adil will not be coming to dubai so might as well enjoy a little flirtatious energy, thus is my rationalization.

My roommate - one of them - is tired and is napping so I need to be quiet - my fingers are tapping the keys but I don't think the sound of them is drifting across the room - the air conditioner is turned on very low as she gets very hot when she sleeps - there is a reason. I used to hear Mike's keys tapping hard on the keyboard as he wrote his long and carefully corrected emails with typos sometimes still slipping through. It is a little strange to still be here but not be there and I don't know what will happen but I just get to keep doing whatever and showing up and walking around and drinking coffee and reading books and staying warm and dry and soon I will be in Dubai. It is warm and sunny there - there I will try to swim in the pool and get my eyebrows done and maybe a trim as my hair is dry and brittle and probably very split in the ends. In the end, who knows what will happen - where I will be. what I will do won't change much but merely the location of the work. still, first is vacation and ocean and sitting and breathing it in - hopefully quiet germans and not loud drunken ones but when on vacation, it doesn't matter - I don't have to be up at 630 - or even 7 - though on saturday up at 4:30 or 5. I have my egyptian coffee which isn't great but is better than nothing - I can have a cup before I get picked up by motorpool and taken to CAC by 5:20 and then picked up again for the airport...

Leaving soon

It is now only a few days until I leave for Kabul, then two days there then two days in Dubai and then DC. I'm ambivalent about it as in some ways, I feel like I have just really settled in and feel comfortable with what I am doing. But on the other hand, the lure of indoor plumbing is hard to resist.

I feel like I should print out the Saint Francis prayer for Mike. I think he probably feels that he already does what it suggests, but I detect a vibrant thread of anger and resentment underneath the overly amiable exterior. As I told Alex, the folks here are dysfunctional enough to be interesting, but not so messed up as to be psycho.

Watching again Sherlock - the modern day British take on Sherlock Holmes. He is kinetic and hyper and bored and childish but also very sharp and when engaged, a whirlwind but an attractive one at that.

In the spirit of the day, I am downloading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix to watch probably when I'm in Kabul (as it is taking a long time to load). It is a rental, so the only thing is that when I start watching it, I have to watch the whole thing within 24 hours. It is a strange condition but oh well. The joys of Apple.

Given the wind and dryness, I can't really tell when I have washed my hair so just wash it on Fridays (today) and Mondays. The conditioner that Rachel kindly bequeathed to me helps somewhat. And tonight is steak and lobster night. I was thinking I can get some steak and then cut it in half and save it for tomorrow. Ideally I shouldn't eat anything more at all today as I have spent most of the day sitting but as lunch was at 11:30, I probably will succumb to eating something.

Today has been quite hot due to no wind. I haven't minded - I did work out and then showered and then grabbed lunch but aside from periodic strolls to the loo I haven't really been outside. Instead have studied Arabic some, watched cricket a bit, read a bit, and am now watching Sherlock. But tomorrow may be rather hectic, at least the first hour or so (7-8) until everyone for the visit is gone, so no naps today and will go to sleep early (9ish). Last night was a Mad Men screening - l love Dan's chairs and it is so nice to just lounge in it. I apparently am "one of the boys" which is, for a man, the highest possible accolade.

My roommate is leaving in a couple of days. I will be sad to see her go as she is a very intelligent, diligent, hardworking, and energetic woman. I admire her passion and her specificity.